Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
