no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
