Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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