There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
