I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
