After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
