the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
