I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
