I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize