I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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