hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
