ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
