...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
