i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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