I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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