If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize