whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
