I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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