My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
