An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
