His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
