I wannas sexs uuuuu
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize