Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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