We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
