I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
