I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
