Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
