you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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