There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
