i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
