If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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