im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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