I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize