So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
