My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
