OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
