If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
this boner is exhausting
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
