So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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