i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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