Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
