Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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