When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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