she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i dont even know how to be here
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Randomize