i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
