BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Randomize
