I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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