You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
