I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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