So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
