How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
