the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
