Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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