Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
