weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
