he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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