I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
