i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
