Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
