Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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