There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
