Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
