Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
