I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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