Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
