literally had 100 drinks last night.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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