There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My penis needs a shock collar
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
