K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she peed on how many people?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I don't deserve a penis
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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