Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
