Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize