Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You smell like stripper and shame
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
