Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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