I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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