I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize