He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
