Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
