True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
