I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
